Post by Shiki on Jan 3, 2012 21:56:29 GMT -5
5
Mommy’s crying again.
I can hear her downstairs, even though I’m on the second floor of our house. She doesn’t try to be quiet at all. Does she want me to hear her? I open my door a crack so I can make out her words as she sobs, “My poor, darling daughter!” Mommy almost shouts it. I’m her daughter, what’s wrong with me? Daddy’s trying to calm her down, “Shh, only eight more years and then this will all be over.” What’ll be over? “Eight more years? I can barely stand eight more days!” Mommy sounds really angry, she’s never yelled like this before. It’s hard to hear Daddy over her loud sobbing, “Quiet down, she’ll wake up.” It sounds like they’re talking about me. “I bet she likes being awake at night! She’s as much as a monster as him!”
I’m…a monster?
Her sobs are quieting down, Daddy must be holding her. “We’ll get through this. If we do as we agreed she’ll be out of our lives soon enough.” I can hear some of Mommy’s words, “…evil…worthless child…kill us…better off-“
I cover my ears, scared. What was Mommy saying? Was I bad? Was she mad at me? I uncover my ears and only hear her repeating two words over and over again, “Why us?” I quietly shut my door and crawl into bed. I try to sleep, but Mommy’s words keep me awake. After a long time I pull the blankets over my head, hiding. Mommy’s mad and it’s scaring me. But…she still loves me, doesn’t she? Does Daddy love me too? Am I a monster?
-
It’s morning now and Mommy’s cleaning my room. I have to stay out of her way, so I sit in the corner and watch. She hasn’t talked to me yet, but she hasn’t looked at me either. But she doesn’t usually talk to me unless I ask a question. Still, I’m worried; she at least looks at me. I don’t see Daddy often…but that’s because he works all the time. If he didn’t he’d talk to me, wouldn’t he?
It’s quiet in my room, all I hear are the sounds of Mommy cleaning. As she makes my bed I as her, “Mommy, am I a bad girl?” She doesn’t move for a long, long time. All I can see is her back, and it’s stiff as if she’s trying not to be seen. Then she turns to me and I wish she wouldn’t have. Her face is very, very made and her eyes are scary. They stare at me and her voice is just as mean as what she looks like when she talks, “Yes, Shiki. You are a very, very, very bad girl. You always have been a rotten child.” She turns her back to me again and I can feel my eyes start to get wet. Mommy mumbles one more thing, but I caught it, “Otherborn scum.” She walks out and slams my door shut. I hide my face in my hands and cry.
I’m a bad girl!
I don’t know why!
Mommy hates me!
Daddy must hate me too!
Why?
What’s Otherborn mean?
Is it a monster?
Why don’t they love me?
I…I love them…
-
10
There she goes again.
Crying her eyes out.
Dad coming to her rescue.
I swear, if I so much as look at her she breaks down. It’s ridiculous anymore, her sickening crying. The insults are starting now; I know she’s talking about me. That’s all she ever does; curses at me and blames me for everything. Even though I have no idea what I did. How can I do anything when all I’m allowed to do is sit up here or walk around the house? She works and so does Dad, and when they’re home they avoid me. They both hate me, but at least Dad’s civil about it. I don’t see him throwing fits like a little kid because I actually dared to look at him. No, she just has to have all this damn attention.
Mom never makes sense when she acts like this. It’s always the same, the whole “my poor daughter” rant and then the insults. What, am I poor because she hates me? Oh, here we go with the whole, ‘Why us’ finisher. How about why me? What the hell did I ever do to you? I roll my eyes and shove my pillow over my head. Seriously, you tell me to go to sleep and then you start screaming about how horrible I am and how terrible your life is?
Just shut up already!
I toss my sheets off and get out of bed. From my shelf I grab a thick, heavy book and throw it at the wall, hard. There’s a loud slam and then a huge thud as it hits the floor. Footsteps run up the stairs and Mom’s screaming at me through the door. Yeah, you’re such an adult. “I hate you too!” I yell back at her as her words become incoherent sobs. Dad comes running and I can hear him pull her away.
Good.
Get that ridiculous bitch away from me.
A few minutes later Dad opens my door. His expression never shows hate, just annoyance. “Go to bed, Shiki.” He shuts the door before I can respond. I doubt he wants to hear my voice.
Fine.
At least when I’m sleeping I don’t have to deal with either of them. I climb back into bed and close my eyes. I ignore any of Mom’s whimpers from down the hall, and any of Dad’s attempts to comfort her.
I hate them both.
-
12
There’s something up with the two of them. Mom hasn’t thrown a fit in a few months now. She’s been giving me looks lately, like she can’t wait for something. Right now, she’s laughing downstairs with Dad. “I can’t believe it; she’s finally going to be gone! We’re going to be free in a week, I can hardly wait!” Dad doesn’t say anything, but I bet he’s smiling. I’ve never seen him smile, but I’ve never heard Mom laugh either.
Both disgust me.
The last time Mom threw a fit, I figured out what she meant by her, “poor, darling daughter.” She feels no sympathy for me. It’s for the daughter I was supposed to be. I’m not good enough for her. I never was. I don’t know what she’s going on about now; maybe she’s finally lost it. I wouldn’t be surprised. I move to my window and look out it, a disobedience I’ve been doing a lot nowadays. So many people inhabit a city I’ve never even walked in. Maybe one day Mom and Dad-
What the hell am I saying?
It hits me as I stare out the window, listen to their laughter.
That witch is not my mother.
That beast is not my father.
And I am most definitely…
Not. Their. DAUGHTER.
It’s been too long, I’m done with this. They hate me, I hate them. I’m not sticking around anymore. I walk out of my room and down the stairs. They’re too caught up in their stupid happiness to notice. I grab the handle of the front door and swing it open. The world is revealed to me in a bright sunlit day.
I run outside and into the mass of people.
It’s so wonderful out here! My feet carry me as my mind takes everything in. There’s so much for me to see, why hadn’t I done this sooner? It amazes me, the world beyond the one I’ve been confined to. The buildings are tall and stores are everywhere. There are just so many people that I can get caught in a sea of movement in one direction. This isn’t all, there’s so, so much more to add on. Who cares if I don’t know where I am? I’m far from them, that’s all I need. Why did I wait so long? I won’t have to anymore.
I don’t need them.
I’m never going back.
Finally, finally I’m free.
So this is a little insight on Shiki's memories and how her feelings changed over the years. I usually don't write in first person, but I thought it fit better.
And the last one...well we know the ending didn't last for long, sadly.
This is actually the only thing I've written for her that doesn't involve massive spoliers...so I can actually show it on here.
But anyway, I hope you like it!
Mommy’s crying again.
I can hear her downstairs, even though I’m on the second floor of our house. She doesn’t try to be quiet at all. Does she want me to hear her? I open my door a crack so I can make out her words as she sobs, “My poor, darling daughter!” Mommy almost shouts it. I’m her daughter, what’s wrong with me? Daddy’s trying to calm her down, “Shh, only eight more years and then this will all be over.” What’ll be over? “Eight more years? I can barely stand eight more days!” Mommy sounds really angry, she’s never yelled like this before. It’s hard to hear Daddy over her loud sobbing, “Quiet down, she’ll wake up.” It sounds like they’re talking about me. “I bet she likes being awake at night! She’s as much as a monster as him!”
I’m…a monster?
Her sobs are quieting down, Daddy must be holding her. “We’ll get through this. If we do as we agreed she’ll be out of our lives soon enough.” I can hear some of Mommy’s words, “…evil…worthless child…kill us…better off-“
I cover my ears, scared. What was Mommy saying? Was I bad? Was she mad at me? I uncover my ears and only hear her repeating two words over and over again, “Why us?” I quietly shut my door and crawl into bed. I try to sleep, but Mommy’s words keep me awake. After a long time I pull the blankets over my head, hiding. Mommy’s mad and it’s scaring me. But…she still loves me, doesn’t she? Does Daddy love me too? Am I a monster?
-
It’s morning now and Mommy’s cleaning my room. I have to stay out of her way, so I sit in the corner and watch. She hasn’t talked to me yet, but she hasn’t looked at me either. But she doesn’t usually talk to me unless I ask a question. Still, I’m worried; she at least looks at me. I don’t see Daddy often…but that’s because he works all the time. If he didn’t he’d talk to me, wouldn’t he?
It’s quiet in my room, all I hear are the sounds of Mommy cleaning. As she makes my bed I as her, “Mommy, am I a bad girl?” She doesn’t move for a long, long time. All I can see is her back, and it’s stiff as if she’s trying not to be seen. Then she turns to me and I wish she wouldn’t have. Her face is very, very made and her eyes are scary. They stare at me and her voice is just as mean as what she looks like when she talks, “Yes, Shiki. You are a very, very, very bad girl. You always have been a rotten child.” She turns her back to me again and I can feel my eyes start to get wet. Mommy mumbles one more thing, but I caught it, “Otherborn scum.” She walks out and slams my door shut. I hide my face in my hands and cry.
I’m a bad girl!
I don’t know why!
Mommy hates me!
Daddy must hate me too!
Why?
What’s Otherborn mean?
Is it a monster?
Why don’t they love me?
I…I love them…
-
10
There she goes again.
Crying her eyes out.
Dad coming to her rescue.
I swear, if I so much as look at her she breaks down. It’s ridiculous anymore, her sickening crying. The insults are starting now; I know she’s talking about me. That’s all she ever does; curses at me and blames me for everything. Even though I have no idea what I did. How can I do anything when all I’m allowed to do is sit up here or walk around the house? She works and so does Dad, and when they’re home they avoid me. They both hate me, but at least Dad’s civil about it. I don’t see him throwing fits like a little kid because I actually dared to look at him. No, she just has to have all this damn attention.
Mom never makes sense when she acts like this. It’s always the same, the whole “my poor daughter” rant and then the insults. What, am I poor because she hates me? Oh, here we go with the whole, ‘Why us’ finisher. How about why me? What the hell did I ever do to you? I roll my eyes and shove my pillow over my head. Seriously, you tell me to go to sleep and then you start screaming about how horrible I am and how terrible your life is?
Just shut up already!
I toss my sheets off and get out of bed. From my shelf I grab a thick, heavy book and throw it at the wall, hard. There’s a loud slam and then a huge thud as it hits the floor. Footsteps run up the stairs and Mom’s screaming at me through the door. Yeah, you’re such an adult. “I hate you too!” I yell back at her as her words become incoherent sobs. Dad comes running and I can hear him pull her away.
Good.
Get that ridiculous bitch away from me.
A few minutes later Dad opens my door. His expression never shows hate, just annoyance. “Go to bed, Shiki.” He shuts the door before I can respond. I doubt he wants to hear my voice.
Fine.
At least when I’m sleeping I don’t have to deal with either of them. I climb back into bed and close my eyes. I ignore any of Mom’s whimpers from down the hall, and any of Dad’s attempts to comfort her.
I hate them both.
-
12
There’s something up with the two of them. Mom hasn’t thrown a fit in a few months now. She’s been giving me looks lately, like she can’t wait for something. Right now, she’s laughing downstairs with Dad. “I can’t believe it; she’s finally going to be gone! We’re going to be free in a week, I can hardly wait!” Dad doesn’t say anything, but I bet he’s smiling. I’ve never seen him smile, but I’ve never heard Mom laugh either.
Both disgust me.
The last time Mom threw a fit, I figured out what she meant by her, “poor, darling daughter.” She feels no sympathy for me. It’s for the daughter I was supposed to be. I’m not good enough for her. I never was. I don’t know what she’s going on about now; maybe she’s finally lost it. I wouldn’t be surprised. I move to my window and look out it, a disobedience I’ve been doing a lot nowadays. So many people inhabit a city I’ve never even walked in. Maybe one day Mom and Dad-
What the hell am I saying?
It hits me as I stare out the window, listen to their laughter.
That witch is not my mother.
That beast is not my father.
And I am most definitely…
Not. Their. DAUGHTER.
It’s been too long, I’m done with this. They hate me, I hate them. I’m not sticking around anymore. I walk out of my room and down the stairs. They’re too caught up in their stupid happiness to notice. I grab the handle of the front door and swing it open. The world is revealed to me in a bright sunlit day.
I run outside and into the mass of people.
It’s so wonderful out here! My feet carry me as my mind takes everything in. There’s so much for me to see, why hadn’t I done this sooner? It amazes me, the world beyond the one I’ve been confined to. The buildings are tall and stores are everywhere. There are just so many people that I can get caught in a sea of movement in one direction. This isn’t all, there’s so, so much more to add on. Who cares if I don’t know where I am? I’m far from them, that’s all I need. Why did I wait so long? I won’t have to anymore.
I don’t need them.
I’m never going back.
Finally, finally I’m free.
So this is a little insight on Shiki's memories and how her feelings changed over the years. I usually don't write in first person, but I thought it fit better.
And the last one...well we know the ending didn't last for long, sadly.
This is actually the only thing I've written for her that doesn't involve massive spoliers...so I can actually show it on here.
But anyway, I hope you like it!
