Post by Lea on Feb 9, 2012 11:08:55 GMT -5
WARNING: This is dark. Completely dark. It's also a vent and soul-puke and a bunch of other things. And it's a risk. But I had to type it up somwhere.
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My dreams are occasionally haunted by a figure.
Usually, figures that haunt dreams are tall, dark, imposing - you can't see their faces, just their silhouettes. Like the figure that haunts Neku's, for example.
THis figure is different. He's actually fairly short, at least in my dreams - I don'tknow how tall he really is. He's blonde, kinda homely and geeky-looking. He looks harmless, as harmless as a person can possibly look. Every detail of his face is evident, and he's usually smiling.
And he terrifies me more than anything else in the entire world.
Just... calling up the image to type that description takes more courage than you could ever imagine.
Ten years, it's been, since I first met him. Yes, he's a real person. A real person who held a five-year reign of terror on my life.
Why am I talking about this? Why am I sharing this with people who for all I know are complete and total strangers?
Because. I have to get it out. And because I have to prevent the grim visions that haunt my nightmares from ever seeing the real light of day.
I had a dream last night. He contacted a friend of mine. Someone who didn't know who he was. Someone who was glad to give him my Skype name, the web addresses of all the forums I'm on, and my YouTube account. Not a problem for someone who's a friend.
It was the Skype name that started the whole thing. He added me, pretending to be someone else, someone I trusted. He friended all my friends. He found my Facebook. He spammed it.
Then he joined all of the forums. Created characters, characters I'd seen before, characters designed to meet and stalk my characters the way he used to stalk the halls of my life.
Somehow, he found adminship on another forum I'd just joined. The dream became paranoid. He plastered declarations of feelings all over the forum in text red as blood, charts of all my characters, analyses of my personal life, and then he did it again through posts everywhere else. He video-called a friend of mine while I was over at her house (somehow he'd found out) just so he could see me; she'd thought he was harmless.
Everyone thought he was harmless.
When he stopped being harmless, I was the only one who thought he was still okay, except for the people who didn't see, couldn't see, how not-harmless he really was.
Overreacting? Maybe. But what scared me the most when I finally woke up was that none of it seemed impossible or out-of-character. Just logical extensions of what he'd done before...
So I have to tell you all. Don't tell anyone anything. He's always all smiles and rainbows at first. And when he starts to get ugly.... nobody ever sees until it's too late.
My greatest fear is that somehow, he'll find me. Where I live. And then, he'll come after me, and I'll never be safe again.
Irrational fears. But they keep me awake at night, tossing and turning. Unable to wake up but unable to sleep.
Now you know.
---
PS: You still here? Yeah. That's all real. And like I said... now you know.
----
My dreams are occasionally haunted by a figure.
Usually, figures that haunt dreams are tall, dark, imposing - you can't see their faces, just their silhouettes. Like the figure that haunts Neku's, for example.
THis figure is different. He's actually fairly short, at least in my dreams - I don'tknow how tall he really is. He's blonde, kinda homely and geeky-looking. He looks harmless, as harmless as a person can possibly look. Every detail of his face is evident, and he's usually smiling.
And he terrifies me more than anything else in the entire world.
Just... calling up the image to type that description takes more courage than you could ever imagine.
Ten years, it's been, since I first met him. Yes, he's a real person. A real person who held a five-year reign of terror on my life.
Why am I talking about this? Why am I sharing this with people who for all I know are complete and total strangers?
Because. I have to get it out. And because I have to prevent the grim visions that haunt my nightmares from ever seeing the real light of day.
I had a dream last night. He contacted a friend of mine. Someone who didn't know who he was. Someone who was glad to give him my Skype name, the web addresses of all the forums I'm on, and my YouTube account. Not a problem for someone who's a friend.
It was the Skype name that started the whole thing. He added me, pretending to be someone else, someone I trusted. He friended all my friends. He found my Facebook. He spammed it.
Then he joined all of the forums. Created characters, characters I'd seen before, characters designed to meet and stalk my characters the way he used to stalk the halls of my life.
Somehow, he found adminship on another forum I'd just joined. The dream became paranoid. He plastered declarations of feelings all over the forum in text red as blood, charts of all my characters, analyses of my personal life, and then he did it again through posts everywhere else. He video-called a friend of mine while I was over at her house (somehow he'd found out) just so he could see me; she'd thought he was harmless.
Everyone thought he was harmless.
When he stopped being harmless, I was the only one who thought he was still okay, except for the people who didn't see, couldn't see, how not-harmless he really was.
Overreacting? Maybe. But what scared me the most when I finally woke up was that none of it seemed impossible or out-of-character. Just logical extensions of what he'd done before...
So I have to tell you all. Don't tell anyone anything. He's always all smiles and rainbows at first. And when he starts to get ugly.... nobody ever sees until it's too late.
My greatest fear is that somehow, he'll find me. Where I live. And then, he'll come after me, and I'll never be safe again.
Irrational fears. But they keep me awake at night, tossing and turning. Unable to wake up but unable to sleep.
Now you know.
---
PS: You still here? Yeah. That's all real. And like I said... now you know.
