Post by Kiara on Jul 15, 2012 2:50:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I know... Angel bits and pieces again, whoop-di-doo *rolls eyes* But this is better than some things my mind was telling me to do *shakes head* Anyways... Enjoy~
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One minute it was all okay and then the next... He wasn't so sure. Breathing heavy and barely supporting himself with his hands on his knees, the quarter blood is stuck. He can't move forward, knowing its exactly what it wants him to do. His mind doesn't remind him why he can't go back, of all the pain he's caused under the... Creation's evil hands. With out a will of his own, barely conscious in his own body. Sometimes he can't fight the binds wrapped around him like barbed wire to a struggling animal. It cuts deeper into him and causes him to black out when the pain becomes too much, no longer does he keep calm and obey. He no longer has someone to protect.
He knows its foolish to run away like this, disobey a direct order from the one whom owns his soul. But he just can't stand to watch her. To see her shine once again, but under another's careful guidance. His heart breaks every time he stumbles upon a memoir of her, something holding her essence inside it. Everything she ever brought him he's either given away or thrown out, she wouldn't want it anyways. Others are harder to decide what to do with.
She had left the charm bracelet he gave her, giving her a new charm each time they would manage to survive the worst. There is the CD he used to play to fall asleep at night, peaceful sounds that would lull both of them under if huddling together did not. A small ball of yarn she kept in her top drawer, it smells faintly of catnip and a little less faintly of her. Finally a plushie she had made him years back. Its small and obviously a novice's work, but to him its perfect. A stained yellow with age, off white mouse pokes out his hood as he forces himself to stand.
"What the hell do I do?" His growl is ripped away by a fierce wind, his following yowl of a frustration as well. He can't go back and he can't go forward, stuck somewhere in limbo, and its driving him even further mad. His finger nails, digits curled like a feline's claws, swipe at the air as he yowls once more. "WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?"
Die from guilt? Die from resisting? Or die from loneliness? The last at the moment seems the most likely. He feels exposed and empty with out her emotions swarming him. They haven't for such a long time he feels his senses have dulled to nearly worthless amounts, even some norms would have better senses than him.
"What do I do?" He asks again, this time quiet and the winds do not steal his voice away. Instead he hears how small his voice is and remembers, as he already knew yet refused to acknowledge, that he's in this by himself. It seems every time he is some new for of shit happens to him, something new corrupts him.
"Better question... What should I do?"
He knows what he really should do is go and rip the Creation to pieces, tear out its throat and then mount its head. He knows he should makes amends with those he's hurt. In his heart he knows he needs to release the child bound to him. But he can't, not until the master mind was destroyed. Yet he knows that move would be futile. The evil has surrounded itself well with protective layers, hiding behind the oblivious and the stupid. She being both of those.
He snorts and then pauses, his teeth grind together, "I know what I should do and I know what I must do." According to his his orders he's to take care of someone very special, but he won't do that. This person is outside of the fight, not a part of the Otherworld as any other blind sighted and deaf norm. He refuses to kill someone innocent... No matter what his master wants to will him otherwise.
When you "bind" someone's emotions and memories you do more than prevent failure. You stop free thought, he learned that the hard way. And then she... She... How could he? Was that his own will... Or... was that... It's doing? He really hopes it was its doing.
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*is too tired to continue*
night-night all~
