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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 3:49:29 GMT -5
I could feel her anger, seeping into me. Nothing else - I could never feel what she felt. "I'm not RIGHT!" I yelled. I took her rage, felt the instinctive need to draw it in, and couldn't. "And it scares me because I SHOULD be! THis is what I wanted!" I wanted to scream, to rage. "I wanted to be normal again! But I can't be normal, because normal isn't RIGHT!"I felt the need to cry, but I couldn't let myself break down, not again. "And it scares me because WHAT AM I?! I... I just... I don't know..."
The rage began to wear out. I'd managed to get angry, but not angry enough. The flashback, the visit from Izaya; I'd come out of them with one conclusion - anger was a part of me, and now that it was gone, I needed it back. But I couldn't just be angry all the time, there was more to this... more to me.
"I'm scared," I said, finally breaking. "Namine, what am I? I know what you think, I know what you suspect, and I... I'm not who I'm supposed to be, who I think I am and who I'm supposed to be are... different people..."
I felt the tears coming again. I found myself falling against her, holding on to her. Her emotions were roiling, and so were mine, but maybe that me had had the right idea. Maybe she was the solution.
Maybe we were the solution for each other.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 3:57:57 GMT -5
I wrap my arms around him, "Neku... People like us are only half a person... I understand... Its natural to be scared..." My voice shakes as I continue. "But...But once this night is over everyone needs you, I need you, to step back into that position... Take over, take control."
Please don't take this the wrong way, I add silently. I will always be at your side... I just need you to stand on your own two feet... Regardless of who you are... I... I need you stay... I need you to stay Neku.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:02:15 GMT -5
I don't have a choice, I told her. At least this hadn't been locked back away again. What he did.... I think I'm more Neku than I should be. And I held her, too. I... I can be Neku for you. For everyone. I can't let the Network down.... I can't let you down. Then... I managed a smile.
"We made a promise," I said aloud. "How can I keep that promise... if I'm not Neku?"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:06:53 GMT -5
Well... What's wrong with more Neku? I beam at him. And, good, because I'd whoop your ass if you went psycho on us~.
I then blush and touch noses with him, "I'll hold you to that~."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:14:37 GMT -5
"You do that," I said, then kissed her again. I trust you. To do that. If it ever gets to be too much... You take care of me. Even if... even if the worst, turns out to be true...
But I couldn't promise that, if it were.... I knew that it couldn't be true, though, it just couldn't. So I didn't have any qualms about saying it...
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:26:54 GMT -5
I smile into the kiss, Always and forever~ Neku. Always and forever.
After a minute I break out kiss and then lean against his shoulder, "Neku... I promise you I will take care of you, always... And... I promise to love you..." Then I pull away and then step away. "We should stop... With... This closeness... You... Need..."
I snap my fingers and dash off into the kitchen, "You need food~!"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:31:32 GMT -5
........but.....!
But then I sighed. This was Namine, back to her old self. Maybe what I needed was a little stability; hadn't had much of that tonight.
And then my stomach reminded me, loudly, that food would probably be a good idea.
"I guess I am kinda hungry," I said, still not (quite) managing to keep the disappointment out of my tone. Knowing Nami, though, she'd completely ignore it.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:34:56 GMT -5
Popping my head back out, I giggle, "What would you like~?" I already have my apron on... Yes... I own an apron, live with it!
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:38:24 GMT -5
I shrugged. "What do you want to make? I'll eat anything you cook." I smiled. Still strained. But functional.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:41:36 GMT -5
"Mmmmmmkay," I turn back into the kitchen and begin pull out a pan and seasonings and stuff. "... And if you miss me THAT much come join me in the kitchen."
You can hug me all you want while I make the veggies and stuff... Hmmm... Stir fry~.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:47:17 GMT -5
I acted on her advice, coming into our small kitchen and standing by her while she cooked, helping out with any small task she'd let me - chopping meat or veggies, whatever. It had become a little ritual.
As had being turned down for offering that same help, depending on Nami's mood.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:50:19 GMT -5
Beaming I thank Neku before sliding the cut veggies and meat into the pan, humming to myself as I stir, "Maybe we should try to make gumbo sometime~."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 4:52:24 GMT -5
"Maybe," I said. "I've never had it. At least that I can remember..." I smiled. "We'll make lots of different food, someday. Lots of good food."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 4, 2012 4:57:09 GMT -5
"Hmmm... Maybe after you've taken some lessons from Lea... And not just in cooking," Leaning over as I stir I peck him on the cheek. "Alright, Cheri?
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 4, 2012 5:00:14 GMT -5
I laughed, and I didn't have to force it this time. "Sure," I said brightly. "History of New Orleans it is, then," I told her, winking to show I wasn't that clueless. "Anyway, that smells wonderful. Now I'm wondering if you've been taking lessons from Lea...."
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