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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 21:25:11 GMT -5
It felt like climbing out of a dark abyss.
The nightmares had come back, it seemed. Nightmares and headache. I think it was the headache that started me up out of that abyss. It wasn't just a headache; m head hurt, like I had rammed it into a wall, or something. That, and the usual feeling of someone ripping my mind apart and welding it back together again, though it was supplemented with a new feeling.... the feeling that something was missing. That something was terribly, horribly wrong with me.
I started to slip back down into the abyss, drowning, darkness... but the pain drove me to swim back up again. To reach out to the real world again.
I noticed a vague, itchy sensation mixed with the pain, body pain this time, I'd taken a beating in the fight, I supposed. I'd had that feeling on the verge of waking and sleeping for a while, now, though. Ever since the second thread snapped.
I struggled upwards. My eyes fluttered open; I wasn't aware, but they were bright green. I blinked again, everything coming into focus.
I was laying on my couch. I tried to remember what had happened; Nami had opened my mind... then what?
Ashe. Network. The memory. Then.... pain...
But I remembered now.
Slowly, I sat up, looking around. Someone must've brought me home...
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 21:29:51 GMT -5
The wall... Is a color I painted.
Touching it I barely sense another presence in my mind.
He's awake.
Ah, yes, its an emotion.
So I blink and focus on looking concerned, once I'm sure I have it I walk out to where Neku had been resting, "You are awake?"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 21:45:17 GMT -5
I nodded, putting a hand to my head. Something was wrong, but I didn't really know what it was... I shook my head. Residue of nightmares, probably.
But there was something off about Nami. She wasn't thinking loudly, or at me... I could barely feel her thinking at all. It was weird. I'd been in her head for so long, or she'd been in mine, (whichever) that not having her there was weird.
"Yeah," I said. "You alright?
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 21:47:27 GMT -5
Alright means the same thing as well. You are alright, answer.
I nod, "Yep." And then walk over to him and place a hand on his cheek. "How about you?"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 21:51:40 GMT -5
"My head hurts," I said, but I could tell that she wasn't exactly telling the truth. "You sure you're okay? There's somehting... different about you..."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 21:57:14 GMT -5
Oh, Neku.
He is fine.
He's worried.
Worried?
"Yes, I am sure," I move his feet so I can sit and then lay then on my lap. "Stop asking irrelevant questions."
We need to talk with him.
I know, relay.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 22:03:26 GMT -5
Irrelevant?
That's just not Nami. That's not how she thinks, that's not how she feels. 'It doesn't matter', 'You matter more'.... not....
Irrelevant.
How you feel is irrelevant...
No. I wouldn't accept that. I couldn't accept that!
For the first time in my life, an emotion other than anger affected me. The union of earlier had somewhat disappeared, leaving my conscious mind behind as something more powerful took control.
I sat straight up and gather her into my arms in a single fluid movement.
Don't leave me, my mind begs, though I'm not exactly sure if she can hear it or not. Don't go where I can't follow! You're mine, no one else's, please don't go away!
I pressed my lips to hers, desperate, searching, I need you! I need you! I need you!
But... but that was what.... what he would do...!
I broke away, shocked by that thought into my own skin.
"I.... Nami, I'm so... I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me...!"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 22:15:00 GMT -5
We need to talk.
About...
I know, but its--
Wha?
Lips press to mine. Their physical presence I can understand... But--
What is that?
The natural reaction I do, pulling him closer, filling me up.
Its called love, we know this.
No, no. You know this.
I press back only to have him pull away. I... I...think I should...
We should feel something...
... Then I shall see you in our dreams?
Always.
My face twists into concern and then a glare as I feel his worry. Grabbing the front of his shirt I drag him forward and crash my lips against his... A small punishment for pulling away.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 22:19:33 GMT -5
Suddenly, she's kissing me again.
I don't ever want to stop. We're in perfect agreement, and I clutch desperately to her. Don't ever leave me! I cry out in my mind, again not sure if I'm thinking or thinking at. I want to wrap my whole being around her.
Protect her, protect what's mine.
My thoughts are chaotic, raging in agony at the thought of never having her again. Something we saw scared her, hell, it scared me too. Scared me on a much deeper level than I could even really understand, because there were things that I saw which had no explanation, and yet, to which I knew I knew the answers.
Answers that I wouldn't like.
I felt tears, tears of joy, sadness... love... I had failed her, I almost couldn't protect her, protect her from myself.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 22:33:16 GMT -5
He's scared.
He's scared.
What did I do?
Neku...? Are you okay?
Slowly I stop kissing him and pulling back, "... Neku...?"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 22:39:17 GMT -5
"...Nami..." I shook my head. "I... I'm not scared of you..." I let go, looking away, blushing slightly. "I'm scared of.... of what I saw. Of myself. The fact that I can't even tell what I'm thinking anymore... my thoughts, they're not even mine." I clenched my fists. "Namine, who the hell am I?! ANd why... why do I have the feeling that you've made a guess... and I won't like what it is?"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 22:43:15 GMT -5
"..."
I can't tell him, it'll break him.
"I'm sorry, Neku," I resist the urge to hug him close. "And, I know... You're scared... But there is no reason to be... Its just... Who you are." I beam to him.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 22:45:23 GMT -5
"What's who I am?" I asked her, taking her shoulders into my hands. "What do you know? What did my memories tell you that they didn't tell me?"
But I do know what they said. I just can't accept it.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 3, 2012 22:46:40 GMT -5
I shake my head, "No. No... Nothing... I..."
I don't wanna hurt you... Not now, not ever.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 3, 2012 22:55:20 GMT -5
"Hurt me....?" I shook my head. "What do... you mean...?"
"Daddy and I... we're different from normal people..."
What did she mean? I asked it of myself, and I can't... I can't bring myself to answer.
"I need... I need to know," I said. "I don't think... I can bring myself. To remember if I know... the truth..."
I need her.
Yes. Yes, I need her...
I need her. I need you.
"I'm scared..."
I[/i] spoke aloud for the first time, that little piece of me finally coming with its own voice and mingling with mine. I don't know how I know that, but... I just... do...
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