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Post by Shiki on Mar 18, 2012 19:25:08 GMT -5
"So you're saying that you'll have no control over Ghost Rider at all? And you said any guilt...so he could wipe out everyone..." The last part was said quietly, she didn't want to make it worse. But she wasn't sure if he heard.
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 18, 2012 19:31:30 GMT -5
"This thing...it has no conscious, just hunger." Sora said, "A fallen hero whose ways of justice became perverse...the Rider feels a need to punish everyone and everything. If I am not careful...it can go after anyone, Izaya, Sin, Neku...maybe you."
He buried his head in his arms, "I don't want it to hurt you."
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Post by Shiki on Mar 18, 2012 20:51:06 GMT -5
It was a shock to hear that, since when was she so important? There were no words for her at first, what she wanted to say wouldn't form. So when talking failed, she did something else. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and lay her head against his back.
Seeing Sora like this, it just hurt. The one who'd saved her on so many occasions suddenly needed saving of his own. Finally the words came to her and Shiki spoke, her voice gentle, "You know something...you're one of the strongest people I've met. You always seem to know what to do...I admire that. It's not fair that you have to carry this burden. It's definitely not fair that this is what you have to go through. And even though it happens to every Ghost Rider... there's a first time for everything, right?"
Shiki gave a small sigh, "I don't believe you'd ever hurt me. And I just can't...see Ghost Rider winning. I'm not afraid of it. And if it does end up winning, well can you really see me giving up like that? Bottom line is that I won't let you... leave me." The last two words were spoken so quietly, it was almost as if she was terrified to say them.
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 18, 2012 21:13:34 GMT -5
Sora felt everything, the weight against his back...he could feel Spirit of Vengeance trying to rise up but it was weak, he forced it back down quickly. He wouldn't allow Zarathos to ruin this moment.
"Ghost Rider, no...Zarathos...he was once a hero. I...I try to see if there's anything left of Zarathos the Hero inside. But I sense nothing, just Zarathos, the Spirit of Vengeance." A brief pause, "There is a trick to him, Zarathos does see innocence in people...young children because they can't understand deep guilt. And...if people could forgive themselves for their sins, maybe it would work."
He sighed, "But people don't let things go. I see it in Neku, in Riku...and in you."
A shuddering breath, "Shiki I haven't been totally honest with you about some things, I...see things in you now, your guilt, you feel guilty for your past. Your family, that...that despite what you believe now a part of you feels like you're a monster to them still."
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Post by Shiki on Mar 18, 2012 21:37:47 GMT -5
"I could easily deny that," Shiki said, "But there would be no point." She shook her head, "Sora...I was a monster. Trust me, you don't want to see what I used to be like. I was raised to believe that was all I'd ever be. Even if I were to go back...they'd still hate me. I just...you're right, I can't let it go. Family and me...we just don't go together. They probably haven't forgotten...and I...I don't know how to forgive them for what they've done. I can't let go of who I used to be...for whatever stupid reason."
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 18, 2012 21:43:39 GMT -5
Sora disengaged himself from Shiki's arms and turned to look at her, looking her in her eyes.
"Shiki...of the two of us, believe me when I say this...you may have been raised to believe yourself a monster, but trust me, I was the one who really acted like one." he didn't elaborate on that, he switched the subject back. "Shiki as long as you still hold that, you can be a target for Zarathos...if I transform again, keep your distance...and if he gives chase, you run. In fact...I need you to text the Network what I just told you, they need to know I am not safe for them to be anymore. Text them all, Neku, Namine, Aqua...Riku too."
Riku he had issues with, he did not approve of his dealings with the shadowy folk and was pissed at the fact he was trying to protect him.
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Post by Shiki on Mar 18, 2012 21:52:36 GMT -5
Her eyes found their way to the ground, she bowed her head after a minute, "I feel like I'm making you an enemy..." Shiki paused, "I don't know if I can..."
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 18, 2012 21:56:08 GMT -5
"If you don't I will." he said firmly, "Or would you rather tell them after I disintegrate Neku cause Zarathos wants to judge his guilt and sins? Tell them now, all of them. Tell them to keep a distance from me when I am Ghost Rider or at night, daylight the Rider can't come out in...only in shadows and night, or the Otherworld. Shiki...don't make me stand over Aquas or Shizuo's ashes, tell them."
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Post by Shiki on Mar 18, 2012 22:06:59 GMT -5
She couldn't respond to him for fear her voice would crack. Instead she did what he wanted, typing out the message on her phone as quickly as she could, knowing that she'd never do it if not now. Her finger hesitated over the send button and it took almost everything in her to press it. Once she had she closed her phone, the snap making her flinch. "There." She felt like crying now, unsure whether or not she'd really done the right thing.
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 19, 2012 7:07:57 GMT -5
He could sense her guilt, no, Zarathos could sense her guilt. It was taking a great deal of concentration to push down Zarathos from reacting to that guilt, he managed to slip his hand in his pocket: which was beginning to twitch slightly.
"Look...you did the right thing. The wrong thing would be hiding it from them and them finding out the hard way, you know I am right about this." he said, trying to reassure her. "I don't hate you or would ever blame you for this, you know that right?"
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Post by Shiki on Mar 19, 2012 14:52:16 GMT -5
She nodded slowly, "You know what you're talking about. And I believe you." Shiki knew that she wasn't helping him, the more guilt she had the harder it would be for him. Sora's right. Everything's better this way. They have to know now. He's right, he's right... The guilt she had felt began to slip away as she convinced herself that it had to be done.
Shiki looked at him, "Better?"
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 19, 2012 15:05:52 GMT -5
Sora' hand had stopped twitching, she somehow managed to mentally convince her guilt to go away for now and he was grateful for that. It wasn't fully gone, he could still see some of it on the corner of her mind. But this was enough, he already asked her to basically paint him as an enemy.
"It'll do, it'll do." he said, taking his hand out of his pocket. "You're sure you texted everyone though?"
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Post by Shiki on Mar 19, 2012 15:13:29 GMT -5
"I'm sure." Shiki took out her phone to double check anyway. Quickly she looked through her sent messages and counted up everyone. "Yeah, got them all. Even Riku." She put away her phone and added, "If anyone asks I'll just tell them what you said I guess."
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Post by Sora Shimomura on Mar 19, 2012 15:38:48 GMT -5
Sora, feeling confident Zarathos wouldn't rise back up, moved closer to look over her shoulder to count the sent messages as well. As he hovered in over her shoulder he could smell a fragrance from her hair, he didn't know if it was shampoo or her natural scent but it was...good.
A strike of fear entered his heart as Shiki scrolled through her messages, he was afraid something like this would happen: it occasionally happened to people who take an active duty in protecting someone from afar. He was beginning to fall for her...
He watched for a long while, knew her habits and where she liked to go. Yes, you could call it stalkerish, but Sin was out there: in order to protect her, he had to observe her. Know her as well as she knows herself, maybe more. He wish though he noticed the signs: the pictures he took of her out in the city, originally used for reference points and the psychological journal he kept of her to make sure her sanity never slipped. Those photos eventually moved from the cork board to the drawer beside his makeshift bed. He couldn't almost sleep without looking at her photos, seeing someone who was more carefree than him felt comforting. Yet soon she was the source of his dreams.
Sora never really knew what love was, he had a girlfriend once a long time ago but that wasn't love. It was...a whole other story for another time. Honestly he wasn't sure he was in love now, it was actually more likely attraction. Yet still, that was a lot more than he ever felt in his lifetime.
As she was putting away his phone the following actions felt like he had hit the automatic button, he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her stomach/mid-section. He nuzzled his head to her head, his face against her red hair: so close that the scent of her hair filled his nose.
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Post by Shiki on Mar 19, 2012 17:02:31 GMT -5
When his arms fell around her she froze, eyes widening. Question marks sprang up in her mind, but there were no answers. Shiki felt her heartbeat quicken. And yet she felt...happy?
The day Namine had questioned her about her feelings toward Sora she'd said maybe. Maybe she did like him. It had been alarming to hear what she'd been tossing around in her mind spoken out loud. Up until a little while ago the only explanation she had for her feelings had been a simple crush. He'd been nice to her, she liked that and it had resulted into that type of emotion. She thought that eventually she'd get over it.
But as time went on, Shiki realized it was more than a crush. He was the one she always hoped to see and the one that never left her mind for long. He was the one she wanted when she was afraid, when she felt vulnerable to everything. There was a word for how she felt... Love? The word kind of scared her. Was that it? Did she...love him? She couldn't be certain, but it was something. Something she didn't want to let go of and ignore.
And being in his arms she felt safe. Yes, happy too. Shiki relaxed, feeling herself lean back against him and closed her eyes. This was what she'd wanted, wasn't it? Could he possibly feel the same way about her? His current actions were saying something but...she didn't dwell on it. Instead she'd focused on the moment, what was happening. She was scared to speak and ruin everything.
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