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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 16:49:53 GMT -5
"I've shared all I have to give," I said. "These streets, this house, Urbadellphia itself. But I'm still banging my head against a blank wall..."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 17:12:51 GMT -5
"So... What do you want to know about me then? My family? Or--" I stop and then frown deep and shake my head. "How I work? What's going on in my head? Just ask Neku."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 19:25:08 GMT -5
I sighed, exasperated, not really sure why. "Fine. What's it like to be you, Nami? What was your family like? I can't ask you anything about the last six months - most of those are gone. I couldn't bring everything back. You don't know who you are any better than I do right now, and when you do finally remember, you'll just go back to being a closed book again!"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 19:41:48 GMT -5
"I remember exactly who I am!" I growl and then shake my head. "My name, title, and person is Namine Joy LeBeau. I am the daughter of Leo LeBeau and Denise LeBeau previously of the Wells family... I have a cousin who hates me named Darla and an Aunt who barely talks to me!"
Huffing I slip past him and begin to pace, "I am the star student in all of my classes! The leader of the group! I am a strong woman with her head firmly in place. I know my strengths and I know my weakness. I understand the powers of those around me, I can calculate how to best use them and when to!'
My feet stop and my teeth grit, "So what if I don't remember a few years of my life? They must not be important to moving forward! And move forward I will, Neku." My gaze turn onto him, cold and determined. "I know who I am, but I'm always changing... So... Learn while I do." And then I turn my sudden glare down at my feet.
"I never stay the same long."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 20:09:00 GMT -5
It struck a chord in me. Resonated with the part of me that was still cowering, scared and afraid of the memories I was remembering, the ones that told me I wasn't who I thought I was.
Keep moving forward!
That's what she'd said. And...
It made sense.
No matter who I was, what I was turning into or had been all along, who my parents were or why some jackass with no name had killed them, I had to move forward> There were people counting on me.
Nami had people counting on her, too.
"....you're right," I said quietly. "Maybe I am too stuck in the past."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 20:13:54 GMT -5
After a moment I sigh and look up, nodding, "Yeah... But its okay... Just don't get stuck there forever..."
Sometimes we need to come up and breath.
That last part was a train of thought and I stop it before it can crash. This one I want to remember, feel like I need to remember... So this one I'll keep close to my heart... Right next to one of Neku's quotes...
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 21:11:33 GMT -5
"Come up and breathe, huh?" I asked, looking out the kitchen window. "Guess we do, sometimes. Whatever the emotion is, I guess it always has to end sometime."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 21:17:44 GMT -5
Regardless of the end results, as long as there is a moment of peace you can heal.
Sighing I return to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, laying my head against his back, "I wanna say I love you and don't worry, but somehow that feels like a lie."
Besides... You always worry and stress out... That's just apart of who you are...
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 21:47:17 GMT -5
I put my arms around her as well. So it is, I thought to her, smiling sadly. Maybe when I learn what my past really is, I'll figure out why? I chuckled. After all, our present is defined by our past, right?
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 21:49:50 GMT -5
"Only partially," I whisper as I lean in closer to speak softly in his ear. "You don't need a past, just a foundation, most find that in the past... I see mine in the present... With you."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 22:32:39 GMT -5
"I want mine to be with ou, too," I whispered back. "But... these memories... they're holding me back. I can't define who I am... until I learn who I was... I need to know... does that make me a bad person...?"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 22:34:22 GMT -5
I shake my head, burying it into his shoulder, No. It makes you human.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 23:06:25 GMT -5
Human?
Maybe not... I thought to her, hands gripping a little tighter. Not completely...
I didn't want to be a Halfer. Didn't want my whole life to have been a lie. But what other explanation was there?
Lea. Lea would've known.
But after Izaya had spun that glass thread, I wasn't so sure anymore. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. I couldn't stand this, not knowing, not understanding, not remembering.
DAMMIT! I'd made my peace with it! I'd made my GORRAM peace with it, and... now everything....
Everything's turning upside down....
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Sept 11, 2012 23:12:13 GMT -5
I frown, Human has a deeper meaning than genetics, Neku.
"I know, but we'll get through it."
There isn't much else I can tell him.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Sept 11, 2012 23:16:36 GMT -5
"I hope so," I told her, not sure which of her statements I was replying to. Maybe both. I felt a tear slip down my face - dammit! I was crying again? "I really hope so, Nami..."
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