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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 18, 2011 22:57:47 GMT -5
Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me, goddammit this asshole! He's lying to me. But none the less I look into his eyes, "I'll remember that... Now... Did you accomplish what you needed to by coming here?"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 18, 2011 23:03:46 GMT -5
"Don't lie to me, goddammit!"
I stepped back; after that, her other words didn't make any sense.
"Namine," I said softly, "how could you? I... how could you say that?!"
It hurt. Goddammit, it hurt.
"I have never, ever lied to you!" My fists clenched. "Not once, not ever have I lied! I should've told you I was the Head, yeah, I get that, but... you.. you think I would lie about something like this?!"
I could feel the anger reaching out to smother the guilt, the hurt.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 18, 2011 23:11:48 GMT -5
My eyes get huge and I take a step back before my mind went into freeze lock mode, "I... I never said... Did I say that out loud?" Could of sworn I thought that! "... But you were..."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 18, 2011 23:15:32 GMT -5
"If you think I was lying to you, Namine LeBeau," I grated out, "then you obviously do not know me."
I was holding everything in check so I didn't do something stupid. Something stupid like start crying again, or run out the door and never look back, or grab her shoulders and shake her, or... or anything. I didn't want to scare her, and I didn't want to run away without repairing this mess that I'd left this conversation in.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 18, 2011 23:19:57 GMT -5
"You're right, Neku... I don't know you," I reply calmly. "I barely know who you are."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 18, 2011 23:32:17 GMT -5
Impulsively, I reached out, grabbed her wrist - gently, oh so gently. I didn't know what my Coordinator would do; I was so afraid that she would run at even the slightest touch. Fragile...
"...then try, Namine. Let me in. Let me show you who I am, get to know who I am." I closed my eyes.
"A wise man once told me, the world ends with you. And the more people you let into your life, the bigger your world becomes, because you get pieces of theirs added in. Don't.... don't shut it all out. The longer you do.... the more you die inside..."
I don't know where the hell that came from. I'd never told anyone about the advice Mr. H had given me that night, except Lea, who'd been there. I'd never let anyone in nearly this far. But... I had to say it. I had to tell her. Because... because I didn't want to see it all... disappear.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 18, 2011 23:40:44 GMT -5
Remember my freeze mode and how it turned into formal mode well suddenly I just felt empty. Void, less than with out purpose because then that would be a feeling, which would be something. I guess the best way of putting it is I went numb, "O....oh, okay."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 18, 2011 23:51:18 GMT -5
She looked so... lost.
I needed to do something.
So I did probably the stupidest thing I could do.
I hugged her again.
That's right. I took her in my arms, gathered her up, and held her there.
"Nami," I said to her, "this is no lie. I'm here for you; I always will be here for you. You gave me something to hold on to, a shoulder to cry on, for the first time in... I don't know how long. The least I can do is repay that favor.... for as long as you need me, I'm here."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 0:01:48 GMT -5
Everything he's done, said, it just doesn't make sense, but then again... When his arms wrap around me and my numbness feels something, it feels cold. I frown to myself, "Neku... You're too kind."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 0:04:57 GMT -5
"No," I said. "I'm scared... I'm scared I'm not being kind enough... I don't want to lose you."
And whatever the hell that meant, I was too tired out to puzzle it all out, so I just let it sit there.
Her arms were so cold, I realized. I didn't really know why I realized that, but I did.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 0:11:52 GMT -5
I sigh and then say, "Neku... You're right... I'm scared... But not of Angel... But of a part of him and..." I shiver and looks into his eyes. "...And I don't ever wanna belong to it!"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 0:14:34 GMT -5
I stepped backwards. I still held her by the shoulders, but I looked into her eyes. My voice was cautious, dangerous, as I asked the question.
"What do you mean, 'belong to it'?"
Something resonated inside me. Maybe it was hanging around Lea too much. Maybe it was hidden deep in my own past somewhere. But some inner tendril of dark, slow-burning rage opened up an eye in my soul...
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 0:20:55 GMT -5
"Neku... I'm bound to him by blood... Been so for years now..." My words just want to come out now. I don't know if I can stop them. "Its was a stupid deal and I know now I shouldn't of done it... He'll get me in the long wrong, for not only does the world have to believe it, but I do as well. And well... I'm just not useful."
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 0:30:45 GMT -5
Blood deals with demons.
I felt.... I don't know how I felt. I felt.... I felt....
ANGER.
It almost threw me backwards with its strength.
No! Not again! I WON'T LOSE SOMEONE ELSE!
But... I had no idea who...
My eyes, I found out later, flickered back and forth between blue and green; my mind ripped open. The headache started, the migraine that felt ike someone was peeling me open with a can opener.
I didn't know what to say, or what to do - I only had that fierce, intense, desire to protect her.
And all I could think of was one name.
He was just like...
Izaya.
"He tricked you," I growled. "And this is the guy that... that you're supposed to trust?! WHo's supposed to take care of you?!"
I was going to have a long talk with this 'Angel' who followed my Coordinator.
It was almost as if I were watching a stranger think. I'd had episodes like this before, where I was seized with that sudden, intense desire to protect what was mine. But none... none like this, and I wondered if it had to do with my memory being opened...
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 0:43:36 GMT -5
I was struck speechless, I've encountered anger like this before, but normally its directed at me, "Neku... Its okay... I'll just... do good on my end of the deal... please...please just calm down."
"And so what if h tricked me? I was willing to be tricked... Its not entirely his fault... He needed saving... I gave it to him... My loyalty."
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