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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 0:51:39 GMT -5
I closed my eyes, trying to wrestle my emotions under control. This wasn't something that I'd ever talked to anyone about; I'd always figured it was just a temper issue, that I could control myself. But... goddammit, but that fight was the hardest one I'd ever fought. No one, though... no one could help me fight it. I had the... the urge to take her into my arms and never let go, ever. I had the urge to find Angel, and.... I don't want to think about it. I really, really don't.
I had never, ever dealt with that kind of anger before.
But I didn't do any of those things. I don't know what Nami saw, but I knew that I held my ody still as stone as I battered back that terrible, horrible rage.
"It isn't your fault, Nami," I spoke when I could trust my voice; I opened my eyes. "It isn't your fault."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 0:56:10 GMT -5
"I..." I just clamp my mouth shut and nod. Neku had been scaring the CRAP outta me. And now... he's still doing it, but I know when I've lost a fight. Even when I'm right.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 0:58:09 GMT -5
Suddenly, I felt... everything drain out of me.
Dammit. I'd forgotten that this usually happened after one of those episodes.
"I'm.... sorry...."
I leaned back against the wall... slid down as my legs could no longer take my weight.
I laughed.
"I guess... it's my turn to... do...."
.....blackness.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 1:10:45 GMT -5
My eyes fill with sadness and I quickly grab a hold of Neku, pulling him along to my bed. I lay him down gently, though I admit it was hard to do, before slipping out to get a glass of water, my laptop and some art supplies. I return with them all to sit in the chair in my room and watch and wait.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 1:19:23 GMT -5
Somehow, I managed to not have any nightmares in the several hours I was out; probably, the reason was I'd tired myself out beyond the capability of dreaming.
My body was seriously out.
I don't really know what it was that brought me back to consciousness; only that I woke up in a bed I knew immediately wasn't mine, staring up at a ceiling that wasn't mine... and yet, despite the state of rage and panic I'd experienced... earlier that day? Yesterday? I wasn't sure.... I was somehow merely unsettled, curious, rather than scared and panicked.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 1:26:48 GMT -5
By this point in time I was nearly asleep, but i couldn't sleep while the thought of Neku was passes out in my bed. Its just... Unnerving. So I get up to get the blood moving again and am about to exit the room to get a fresh glass of water when I see Neku's eyes are open, "You're awake!"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 1:31:40 GMT -5
I heard Nami's exclamation, and I remembered what had happened.
I felt pretty drained, still, but I managed to sit up on the bed.
"Hey," I said, sounding a lot weaker than I'd been hoping to.
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 1:34:55 GMT -5
I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed and holdout the glass, "Thirsty?" I'm just watching him closely, hoping he's done with his outburst for a while.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 2:01:51 GMT -5
"Parched." I took it from her, downed the whole thing in one gulp.
"I'm sorry," I said. "That was yours, was't it?"
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 2:07:25 GMT -5
I laugh, "No. It was meant for you... Just waiting for you to wake up next up for you is a bar of chocolate." Smiling I reach out and place a hand on his shoulder. "And here is some advice that many good people have given me... Don't push yourself too far... We've all got out limits." I really badly just want to hug him and beg him to never get that way again, that my life is none of his concern, but then there is the part, the small and almost silent part that wants nothing more and to stay by his side and never leave it because I know its safe, even if I don't fully trust it yet.
But I push that back and laugh, "Drained much?"
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 2:12:16 GMT -5
I laughed weakly.
"Yeah... always happens whenever... that... happens." I shook my head. "I haven't had... haven't had an attack like that in... a year and a half, now..."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 8:46:14 GMT -5
What a pair we seem to make.
I just smile and say, "Well... You can stay as long as you need..." Leaning up I press my lips to his forehead, checking his temperature, seems normal to me. I lean back and ask, "So you want the chocolate bar now... Or more water?" Silently I add, For me to hold you and never let go.. I don't ever want him to feel like this again, never, if I can help it.
"Sorry for pissing you off," My voice is sorry and I'm frowning, but my eyes are happy to know someone cares so much and not because they have to. Not because I was already theirs and no one else, but because they were my friend.
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 11:16:53 GMT -5
Did she just.... kiss me?! I thought, frantic. What was... what was that all about?!
"Uh.... um, chocolate would be nice..."
Confusion died at her next words. I shook my head.
"It wasn't you, Nami... I wasn't angry at you." I noticed that her face and voice were upset, but her eyes were happy. "I'm sorry for getting so goddamn angry. It just takes me that way, sometimes, and I never know what's going to trigger it."
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Post by Namine Joy LeBeau on Nov 19, 2011 18:52:27 GMT -5
I smile and nod, "If you say so... I should know better than to say things like that." Standing I go get the chocolate bar I was saving for a night when I couldn't sleep I come skipping back in and hold it out to him. "Guess you just have a little anger management problems, huh?" I'm trying to keep my words cherry and light, wanting to keep the mood happy, we are happy right?
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Post by Neku Sakuraba on Nov 19, 2011 19:01:23 GMT -5
I laughed, took the chocolate, ate some.
Damn good chocolate. I'd have to hang out with rich people more often.
"Sometimes. Actually, that's usually Lea's gig. Like I said... ahven't had that happen to me for a year and a half. Before that, six months. Before that, another year. Before that... well, I only had one that year. And... that's as far back as it all goes." I took another square of the chocolate bar.
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